im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
