WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
ttyl tear gas
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
