Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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