I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
