I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize