To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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