If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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