i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
