how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
