I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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