i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
