remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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