dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
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