I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
