wanna go halves on a baby?
I cockslap morals
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
