You work out of a Hotel?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
