Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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