yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You work out of a Hotel?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
