who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I AM VODKA MAN
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
