Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
