Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize