What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize