I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
