I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
