Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
