my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
