you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I love you.
Bad choice
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize