his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
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You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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