And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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