So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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