i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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