bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I FOUND THE LEGS
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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