You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
