I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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