No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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