please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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