My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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