Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Randomize