We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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