my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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