ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Randomize
