Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
