...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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