I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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