I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
