Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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