He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
your like the ambassador to my penis.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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