I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I would ride that face into the sunset
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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