Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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