U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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