Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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