He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
