It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
