So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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