walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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