Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
