woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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