So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
