Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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