We need to rekindle our bromance
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
